I see you
- Mathilde Barbier
- Mar 1, 2023
- 3 min read
Updated: Mar 28, 2023
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" Self-care is giving the world the best of you, instead of what’s left of you. " - Katie Reed
The doorbell rang.
Here was Amy, dishevelled and breathless. She looked exhausted and was clearly holding back her tears. The baby was crying in the buggy. Not only did Amy and her baby come through the door at that moment, so did her anxiety, stress, frustration, irritation, despair, confusion and tiredness. And so did the baby’s response to her distress.
The tense and dense energy was palpable.
The group of mums was welcoming. All had had their babies in the previous few months. Quickly, they gathered around Amy. One took her coat, another asked what the baby needed, gently picking him up. Amy gave out a big sigh and sat down! A mug was placed in her hands, everyone quietly gathered around her. Within minutes the baby was calm, peacefuly looking around before dropping off to sleep.
If you are a parent or carer, you might recognise this scene. Being the parent of a newborn can be overwhelming and the cocktail of emotions churning inside the body is very quickly being picked up by the baby who in turns responds and expresses it in their own way. It creates more reactions from the parent turning everything into a messy vicious cycle.
In my story, the small group gave Amy time to settle, quietly saying “I see you”. Witnessing her scattered state, giving her space to be, and when ready, she was able to talk about the breastfeeding difficulties she was experiencing.
If her friends had started ‘protecting’ themselves from her energy when she arrived, putting invisible shields up or trying to reason her or calm her down this would have probably exacerbated the situation.
The state of Amy’s ‘energy body’ was obvious and clearly visible on the outside. But even if we hide the turmoil behind out smiles, babies and children pick up on everything, they will tune into the invisible energy disruptions generated by our emotions. Adults will do this too but little ones have a much more attuned perception somehow.
The energy needs to flow in our body and by making time for us to settle, align and centre ourselves with gentleness, we can rebalance our inner world.
Whatever we ‘send out’ will ripple outwards and benefit others.
Self-care is of course not just for parents. If you have pets, they will pick up on the state of your energy body too, so will your family, friends and co-workers.
4 Self-Care Tips
... one for each of our 'bodies'!
1. Physical Body: Morning connection - enjoy a quick body stretch. For inspiration and guidance, download my short audio ‘5 minute screen free break’
2. Mental body: Journal - write your thoughts on paper. You can do this at bedtime to clear your head before going to sleep for example
3. Emotional body: Throughout the day, check your inner weather. Is it cloudy? sunny? stormy? How are you feeling? Awareness allows you to manage it better.
4. Energy body: Take a note of your energy boosters and energy drainers, do more of the first and less of the latter. |
Selfcare is not selfish, it is essential.
This month I dare you to look after yourself which includes your physical, mental, emotional and energy bodies.
On the 19th of March is Mother's day in the UK. How about sharing the above self-care tips with a mother you know?
And if you want to explore the world of gentleness:
Living gently, no matter what
A grounding, engaging, intentional, tranquil, and mindful experience.
An exploration of the world of gentleness and how we can tap into its super-power.
- 7 daily doses of gentleness straight to your inbox (in audio and written format) - Downloadable worksheets - A few minutes of your time each day to relax, stimulate curiosity, ponder and share with others.
Dedicate some time to self-care and dare to be the change you want to see in your organisation, family, community and life!
Image credit: Photo 1 by Pablo Heimplatz on Unsplash
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